Dave's not here
So, like a whole lot of people, I turned on Letterman last night for his
final Late Show on CBS. What a dud. OK, I haven’t been regular Dave watcher for
several years, now. But that hasn’t always been the case.
From his first days following up Johnny on the Tonight Show, I thought Dave
was the epitome of ironic cool. Sophomoric and wittily sarcastic at the same
time, his pranks and goofiness resonated with an audience that also saw the
world through slightly off-kilter eyes.
He did stuff we all imagined doing at one time or another. Like Tommy Chong
in one of the Cheech and Chong movies when he picked up the open microphone at
the police station desk and started yelling “lardass!” through the speaker
system, Dave gave us vicarious pleasure in stunts like tossing tv’s off the
roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater.
As a musician, watching Paul Shaffer’s phenomenal band churning their way through
snippets of both well-known and obscure covers was also a major calling card. I
admired Paul’s recall in conjuring up the most apropos musical allusions to
suit a particular guest’s appearance. I admit to a palpable jealousy of
guitarist Sid McGinnis. I would have given up all my favorite guitars to have
sat in with the band just once.
But after a while Letterman’s routine became just that. It lost its verve
and trendy edginess. Some people complained that Dave had become too mean to
his guests. I thought just the opposite, he wasn’t "mean" enough, in
the sense that he no longer displayed the old, cool sarcastic wit which had
punctured so many celebrity egos - not the uncourteous, disrespectful and
acerbic dislike he started showing guests more and more often.
My opinion: his last show totally sucked. Dave went through the motions,
but it was plain to see he had lost it. And he seemed so old, almost tottering at times, barely able to croak out what was
written on the cue cards. I don’t remember Bob Hope reaching that state until
he was well up close to 100, and Dave isn’t even 70 yet.
Furthermore, the highlights of his major moments – like when they replayed
the times he had interacting with the kids who supposedly “adored” him – and
other scenes like this went on and on ad
nauseum. The show dragged, it was boring as hell. When all his old celebrity
friends came on to do the Top Ten List, there appeared a glimmer of the show’s
past glory. But the rest of it sank into oblivion.
And talk about mean. What father would put up a "schizoid" photo of his son, mocking the boy as Letterman did after the camera had panned to his wife and son
Harry seated in the audience, and then make a snarky comment about the kid having to make regular
visits to a “clinic.” It leaves a bad taste in your mouth when you realize that after all these years, Letterman wasn’t funny and he wasn’t cool – he was simply an ass all along.
